It’s been a funny old month. Busy with work, family etc, but I should be buzzing creatively. However, I very nearly decided to throw my brushes away and have repeatedly asked myself why I ever thought I could paint.
Why? Well, for the silly reason that a gallery has asked me to put some paintings together. I am terrified. Instead of relishing the challenge, I sit and worry that they will hate anything I do, that I won’t be able to produce anything worth showing, that in fact I will never paint another picture worth looking at twice in my life… And the more I worry, the worse it gets.
What a stupid cycle of silliness! It’s like playing tennis well and then double faulting in every competitive match you play (I speak from experience). Logically, I know they wouldn’t ask me if they didn’t like my paintings, but the little voice in my brain keeps telling me I am going to fail. So much of doing something well is in the head, isn’t it?
So I have given myself a jolly good talking to. Told myself not to try to paint to please any one but me, and not to try to paint like anyone else. I hope it is starting to come back.
What do you do, when it all goes wrong?? Please share your top tips for remaining positive and creative!
I think you’ve got the right idea Liz – just paint to please yourself. As you say, if they didn’t like your work they wouldn’t be asking for it! Forget it’s for an exhibition and do what you love to do. I’m certainly a fan.
Thanks Jan – but it’s tough! And I get so annoyed with myself. The moment someone asks me to do something, I get all tight, which certainly doesn’t help the paint flow!